When you get married it seems like everyone in the world has some type of advice to give. I attended a bridal shower this weekend (more details on that soon) and it presented the opportunity for me to speak with a group of gorgeous single and married women.
The conversations were scattered and I never claim to know it all, but it seemed like there were a lot of theories about how married life works and a lot of things that were deemed facts were NOT. In fact, I learned enough to ask around a little bit and do a little debunking myself just to help combat the marriage lies!
Lie #1: You should date a while before getting married
Truth: Says who? If you want to date for 5 years before getting married that’s your prerogative but don’t miss out on the ONE because of some silly made up rule. Whatever works for you and your relationship is on you. Maybe I’m a little biased (I was hitched in 10 months) but no matter how many friends told me I was crazy, I knew what I knew and I listened to my heart, it’s cheesy, but it’s true a lot of the times.
Lie #2 Sex should always be spontaneous
Truth: Girl Bye! After work, goals, kids and life, sex can’t always be on the kitchen counter or ALL night long. Don’t get me wrong, there are occasion for those things but sometimes you do have to schedule sex. Now am I saying that put an alarm in your phone for 11:14pm and block out 16 minutes, no, but what I am saying is the scheduling part may just happen. For example, if you little one is going to be at their grandparent’s for the weekend…guess what, hopefully you are scheduling a few romp sessions within that time. Or if you take the kids to the park to let them run ALL of the energy they have off and put them to bed early just so you can get it in…that’s the same as scheduling sex and I HIGHLY recommend it. BE INTENTIONAL!
Lie #3 The first 5 years are the hardest
Truth: Again, I answer this with a question: Says Who? I mean seriously, who is making up these rules? If I could take a moment to vent: Just because the first 5 years of YOUR marriage was difficult doesn’t mean that’s the same way with everyone’s marriage. Sure there will be ups and downs, that’s normal. It’s even normal to want to punch him every now and then, but that doesn’t mean the first 5 years are the hardest. I’m sure that feeling will arise in the second 5 years and the third 5 years as well. And the whole nesting thing doesn’t make it harder either. Sure, you may be moving in together for the first time but welcome to a lifetime of firsts; (Venting moment over by the way) Don’t believe the lies, marriage takes work ALL years that you’re marriage, the first 5 aren’t any different.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't let some silly advice dictate your marriage and future. Everyone has different experiences, different expectation, different personalities and different outcomes. You put in the results and work your marriage the way you want. And if you aren’t married yet, there are thousands of rules that people have created before getting married, my advice to you... It's always good to listen, but it's even better to WRITE your own rules.